Homesick

Sometimes, I watch Gossip Girl just to view those shots over looking the city at the beginning of every other scene.

And I'm reminded of why I love New York.

Reminded of that feeling I had the first time I stepped off of a train platform in Grand Central Station.

It was no longer a dream.

I was no longer that little girl who kept a stamp of Lady Liberty next to a New York state quarter and a candle that said, "New York City" on it in a shimmery pink glitter. That little girl who dreamed about "the big city."

The orange lighting. the people. my new subway map. dragging my suitcase on the pavement through Chelsea. that moment when I thought to myself this is home.


I go back to that moment every chance I get.

It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was only seventeen-years-old.

Sometimes, that day feels so far away.

Then, I remind myself, I'm still so young. I still have plenty of time to make it my home.

Homesick

New York, New York, how I miss you.

I miss your yellow taxis. Horns honking.

I miss your subway tracks. The sways, the rumbles, the variety of people coming and going.

I miss the park. Its fall leaves, its paths. The running track by the pond. The bridges.

I miss the businessmen scurrying around the Financial District, strapped to their cell phones and brief cases.

I miss the lights, the feel, the energy.

I miss the sky scrapers and how it feels to be up high. To look out over the city and think, this is home.

I miss 5th Avenue. Feeling like Miss Golightly as I stroll past Tiffany's. Breathing in the fashion. Burgdorf's. H&M. Saks.

I miss the Village. The way the sun looks when it sets behind those buildings. The little shops. The cappuccino and pancakes in the cafe who's name is lost on me.

I miss places I've never even been and things I have yet to see. SoHo. Babycakes NYC. Even though it's now closed, CBGB's. The vegan joints I read about in my dining guides. Tribecca.

I miss the Met and corner cafe I ate at with my best friend the day we went. That feeling for two seconds where I almost belonged on the Upper East Side.

I miss the Brooklyn Bridge. It is beautiful. It needs no more embellishment beyond that.

I miss the sensation of coming up from the subway tunnels. Finding yourself someplace else- some other magical part of the city.

I miss the smell. Honestly, you have to be in love to miss the smell.

I miss the sense of invincibility the city gives you. Any dream can come true in New York.

I miss being there. I miss feeling as though my heart were full. That is the city's gift to me. Love. A pure, full, passionate love. A love that has yet to be matched.

New York, I love you

(Yeah for my 100th post on Tea & Audrey!)

Heartaches

Give me long enough and I'll talk myself out of everything I consider.

All I want is Manhattan.

If that's all I ever have in this life, I will be happy.

Well, that and a Kitchen Aid.

So, even though I want him.

Even though I want Seattle.

Even though I want a job in Denver.

Even though I want to stay here.

I can't.

My heart breaks for Manhattan.

Manhattan and a Kitchen Aid.

A shiny, red Kitchen Aid.

Tears

The craziest things make me cry.

Like how I went from reading this blog post,

which led me to this website,

which made me start thinking about how I would love to eat delicious vegan food in New York,

and then...

I began crying over how much I miss New York.

I didn't know you could miss something or someplace so much until I went to Manhattan.