Happy

So...I think I've figured it out.

What I want to do in life.

I know. BIG.

But here it is...

I want to be happy.

And I think I've got a pretty good plan for it.

I want to photograph. And write. And cook. Ideally work at some dream job that allows me to combine all three.

I want to sew. I want to make my own dresses with pretty fabrics...and maybe someday make clothes for my future kiddos.

I want to read. And dance. And watch good movies. And play with my puppy. And travel. Oh, places I want to go!

I want to run a small baking business. Not now, but someday.

Because no matter what I do, what other dreams I chase, I keep coming back to way it feels to roll out a pie crust. I keep coming back to the way my mother and I would sprinkle flour on the counter, plop the sticky dough down, and push with the wooden rolling pin.

I keep coming back to how it feels to drop a cup full of chocolate chips into cookie batter. How it's still fun to lick the beaters as they bake in the oven.

I keep coming back to the beautiful frustration of frosting a cake. How impatient I am when it comes to letting it cool first.

I keep coming back to the smell of adding melted Earth Balance to the beginnings of a graham cracker crust.   How the crackers crunch under the fork and that heavenly scent as it sits in the oven.

I keep coming back to muffins and scones. How they make coffee or tea taste that much better. Especially in the wintertime.

So, I will do these things. And I will be happy.

Oh, Autumn

Remember how I didn't want fall to come?

Yeah, I'm over that.

I am dreaming of apple cider and pumpkin patches. I caught myself baking vegan apple pecan muffins a few days ago. I am dying to photograph the changing leaves and layer up in scarves. I am already craving pumpkin pies and winter squash. And do you know what else is lovely in the fall? Roasted veggies.

The October issue of Whole Living printed a recipe for Roasted Fall Vegetables with Lentils. I took inspiration from it and this is what followed....

Roasted Vegetables with Black Rice

Ingredients:
1 cup of organic black rice (I tend to buy from the bulk section in my local health food store)
2 1/2 cups of water
1 large organic red bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch strips
1 large organic carrot, chopped into two inch pieces resembling homemade matchstick carrots
1/2 medium to large organic red onion, cut into 1/2 inch wedges
1 14 oz can of artichoke hearts, drained
5 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1 tsp Dijon mustard
4 tsp apple cider vinegar

1) Place black rice and water into a medium size pot. Bring to a boil and reduce to simmer over low heat for 55-60 min.
2) Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Arrange veggies over two baking sheets and drizzle a tablespoon of the olive oil over each baking sheet and season with salt and pepper (I also think chopped garlic would be good on here too. Feel free to add some). Bake for 20-30 min, rotating once. Keep an eye on the veggies as to not burn the bottoms.
3) In a small bowl whisk together remaining three tablespoons of olive oil, Dijon mustard, and apple cider vinegar.
4) Toss cooked rice, roasted veggies, and dressing together. Enjoy!

Nevermind. I'll Find Someone Like You.

Guess where I found myself this morning.

The quaint coffee shop just off of campus where I sat studying my freshman year of college. The same coffee shop where I started my very first blog.

I needed to be inspired, so I went there. The whole place has been remodeled, but it still has the hardwood floors I dearly loved.

This whole day held an air of memories. It's only the last day of August, but it feels like fall. The moist air, the smell of smoke, and the coffee tastes richer. Coffee always tastes more rich in the fall, doesn't it?

I can't decided if I'm okay with this. Normally, I welcome the start of fall with open arms, and I am excited for it, but this year feels different. Maybe it's because we had such a cold spring and the weather didn't get warm until late June. I just feel like there is still more summer to experience. I'm not quite ready to trade the feel of the sun kissing my bare legs for tights. And I never got around to making a peach pie or cherry tart all summer.

I still wanted to go the amusement park and take a trip to Seattle. But I wanted to do those things with him. And maybe that's why I'm mad at summer's end. When the summer ends I know it'll really feel over.

He will go on with her. I will start my class. I will pour everything I have into my work. I will search for a job and an apartment. Hopefully, buy a new puppy. I will buy tons of kitchen equipment and cook fabulous things all the time. I will finally get around to reading all those Fitzgerald novels on my shelf. I'll explore more of my hobbies, rekindle my love to sew, learn more about wine. I will meet new friends and have plenty of good times with old ones. And slowly, I will do all theses things until one morning I won't be able to feel him anymore. He will be nothing more than a sweet, but vague memory of the man I once loved with every ounce of myself.

It's astonishing how knowledge of this is so heartbreaking and comforting all at once. That I will be able to move past him. I will be able to love somebody else. Yet, loving someone else means I will never love him the same way again. It will be further strained. Broken just a little bit more than it was before.

But I suppose even broken glass is beautiful.

So, rich coffee tasting, smoky, near fall day, maybe you will give way to a beautiful mosaic.

Post title from Adele's "Someone Like You"

Funks and Avocados

So, I pulled a disappearing act on you.
Bet you thought I was gone forever.
Psych!

I have been in a funk lately. The kind of funk where nothing is inspiring to you. I haven't felt like cooking, or writing, or photographing at all for the past few weeks. It's been a very, very bad funk.

My days have consisted of toast...which I honestly ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner one day. Though in my defense I didn't just put Earth Balance on each slice- I did a little mashed avocado and sliced tomatoes as well. Peanut butter and banana slices are pretty great too. And work. And being upset that my car window broke. And watching a lot of pointless TV. And I think I've done ten loads of laundry in the past two days.

It's time to pull out of this funk.

I forced myself to look at cooking blogs this morning, because if I'm not constantly surrounding myself with food and people who pull out my passion for it, I do stupid things. Like make a lot of toast.

Oh boy. Let me tell you how happy I was to discover this recipe for Cold Avocado Soup via Joy the Baker.

Have we discussed my love for avocados? I think we should, because it is rich. Intense. Powerful. LOVE. Basically, if it were healthy to eat a whole avocado at every meal, I totally would. I find ways to use them in everything. Tofu scrambles, smoothies, stir fry, vegan sorbets. Yes, you read that right. Sorbets.

So what I'm saying is, I think this Cold Avocado Soup might be the thing to pull me out of my funk. And if that doesn't do the trick, this Vegan Chocolate Avocado Cake might.

Tonight

"I'm going on a date tonight
To try to fall out of love with you
I know, I know this is a crime
But I don't know what else to do"

Camera Obscura "The Sweetest Thing"

My Weekend According to my iPhone

This past weekend I took a road trip with my family to the small town of Phillipsburg.

We...

ate at an old fashioned soda shop and diner.

stoked up on cady at The Sweet Palace.

and browsed countless antique shops.

(more pics to come!)

Sometimes, when I have a bad day I think to myself, "New York would fix this."

Because, somehow, no matter how big and scary the world is, New York makes me happy. Just the simple though of the city, just sitting here writing about it makes me feel like everything is ok.

It's funny isn't it? Thinking about how a place can heal you. It makes me believe that city may be magical. If only Disney had set a fairy tale there. (And I don't mean "Enchanted" - I'm talking the old animated ones.)

But I couldn't be in New York today. So, here I am at my favorite coffee house. My baristas make my usual right when I walk in the door and never charge full price. I take my soy latte and a book, tuck myself away in a corner, and escape.

If I can't be in New York, it's a pretty good second.